Small Changes.

One day my children were having a laugh in the lounge and one of them said ” Illuminati confirmed” and for some strange, unbeknown reason to me I felt a surge of nausea. I walked into the lounge and firmly told my children to never speak of the Illuminati in our house again.  I can not explain to you why I said or did this,  I had never heard of the Illuminati,  I didn’t even know what the word meant but for some reason it evoked a massive surge of negative emotions from within me.  My son looked at me and started to laugh, he said “Mum, why are we not allowed to speak about the Illuminati? Do you even know what the Illuminati is? I stood rooted to the spot and replied ” No I don’t, but I don’t like that word”. My son then went on to tell me they are a Historic secret society and that there are lots of videos on youtube about them. I told him I was not interested and didn’t want to hear another word about it.  He just looked confused and said ” ok Mum, but I don’t get why you are being so funny about it, lots of people talk about them.

Needless to say, that evening after my children had gone to bed I reluctantly started to look into the Illuminati, which led me to lots of other things from freemasons to ancient aliens, Flat earth and fake space. It was endless and started to consume most of my free time, it was always on my mind, I would seek out others to discuss conspiracy theories with, It was taking over my life.  Don’t worry readers I am not writing this blog to try and convince you that the Illuminati are ruling the world or that we are being controlled by shape shifting Royal reptilian beings, I would hate for anyone else to waste any of their precious time watching and reading hours and hours of David Icke. It is my belief that this man is nothing more than a shill along with many others, like his friend,  Alex jones. They are only there to promote fear and I believe that fear or any other negative emotions will hold us back and delay the evolution of our spiritual selves, the reason I say ‘delay’ and not ‘prevent’ is because I feel that this is something that is happening right now, it has been happening for a very long time and will continue to happen within many human beings,  it is inevitable, it cannot be prevented, it cannot be stopped, it can however be slowed down which we will discuss another time.



How did it start?

I thought I was living the perfect life, with my Husband and two wonderful children. We had spent many years working hard to achieve the perfect home,  and once this was completed I enjoyed the envy on peoples faces when they entered our home, I lapped up the compliments and my ego was hugely inflated,  I got a taste for more, my life was now centered around my ego. I wanted to show the world just how well I was doing in life and this expanded to many areas from cooking the best meals, having the cleanest house,  applying make up just to pop to the shops, and the list went on. It was exhausting.  I would often speak of how I could never live in a filthy house and everything must be perfect, work colleagues would tease me and say I had OCD,  I just took that as a sign that they must be very envious of my life.  I know!  it sounds like I was an absolute asshole and if I’m honest I think I was. My life was about material goods, and what other people thought of me.  As I write this I am reminded of the old me, I feel like I should write about how I regret that time but I believe that everything happens for a reason and if I had not been on that journey I may not have be able to see what I can now.